Instant Arm Lift

Sagging jiggly arms?

Embarrassed to wear the season's hottest short sleeved fashions?

No problem! Instant arm lift to the rescue!

Or, you could just wrap your arms in Beiber Duck Tape.  It'd only be slightly more noticeable, and will probably remove unsightly arm hair at the same time! It's a two for one Win-Win.

Pajama Jeans

I like to wear comfy clothes as much as the next girl.

I even have tried to get away with wearing my pajamas in public...but only when going to Wal-Mart...that seems to be the uniform there (if you know what I mean).

Typically I wouldn't mock a product that allows me to look like I'm dressed appropriately, but am in secret wearing pajamas...

However - I've been paying close attention to their advertising...

"The mock pocket and contrast stitching makes them look like real designer jeans"
*Of course it does, the kind my mom used to buy me at the outlet store for three dollars a pair...because they were slightly irregular and one leg was longer than the other...*

"Pajama jeans fit virtually every figure - from petite to Plus size!!"
*ummmm, kay, I've not seen anything made out of spandex blend that fit EVERY figure.  Just sayin'*

"The fashion sensation that fits EVERY Figure PERFECTLY"
*again, not so sure about that. These people have seen the website www.peopleofwalmart.com right?*

"Fits like a sexy second skin"
*uh, yea, I don't think skin tight denim on me is sexy. Nor is skin tight denim/spandex/cotton blend with contrasting stitching and rivets. Also, I'm pretty sure we already covered this.*

"It's a struggle to fit into ordinary jeans, they are uncomfortable and leave marks on your skin!"
*I honestly have nothing to say to this.  Speechless I tell you, purely speechless.*

"purchase for 39.95 and we'll send you this grey crew neck t-shirt, absolutely free"
*wait, what? A free shirt?  Nobody told me there was free stuff involved...well OKAY! Look honey, I got a free shirt and it only cost me 40 dollars plus shipping!  Awesome.*

I suppose these are a step up from wearing actual pajamas in public.  However, I'm kind of partial to my Chilly Willy Thermals, and I think I'd still rather wear those to wal-mart than these.  At least the world knows I'm not fooling anyone.  Besides, the thermals make it a little easier to get away with wearing my slippers in public as actual shoes - oh, and also I can refuse to do my hair too.  It's win win.

Denim and G-Strings

And now I've seen it all in the world of fashion.

The thing is, either I'm old or I'm completely out of touch with fashion these days because I honestly don't see the appeal to the average woman when it comes to these jeans.  The average man...now I see where he'd enjoy seeing these worn...but the average woman? 

Of course, I have a daughter that wears high tops with shorts (as do the majority of her friends) and another daughter who swears pink ruffles are all the rage in the third grade...so maybe I'm not the one to ask when it comes to fashionable things...I get my advice from a 12 and 9 year old.  (Neither of which, by the way, would ever leave my home in these...not while I was still blessed with the gift of sight anyway).  You see - we have two rules in our house - your clothes have to be clean before you leave the house, and you cannot own anything that could possibly be mistaken for Snooki's wardrobe.

Sorry folks, if you want these, you're going to have to make them yourself or goto Korea or Japan.  They haven't quite made it to US retailers yet...I'm still flabbergasted as to why the buyers for Bloomies haven't jumped on these yet....

Forever Lazy

I have to give the product name credit.  It does make me wonder what in the world it is - and secretly makes me want it, if it works that is.

What woman out there wouldn't like the opportunity to be "forever lazy?"

What woman wouldn't enjoy a day actually sitting around watching Grey's Anatomy (or insert your favorite non-animated show here)and eating bon bons at least one day in her life?

The name Forever Lazy conjures up robotic maids and in house chefs and grocery delivery, and pool boys named Gorgeous...or Bob.  Whatever - as long as they wear the uniform (you know what I mean...)

Forever Lazy certainly doesn't conjure up this:

It's not a Snuggie - it's a fitted blanket - with sleeves and legs and - yes - a trap door you can use when you need to answer the call of nature.

Can you say sexxxxxy?

Now can you say it with a straight face while referring to this thing?????

The Royal Wedding - Hats.

So - no Fabulous find Friday post today - why? Because I'm super sick, and I-m on this medicine induced weird brain fest thing --- that coupled with the fever I've been running - I swear I'm hallucinating.

You know when you are sick and can't sleep you stay up all night watching TV? Well - I was just lucky enough to be ill on a night when The Royal Wedding of Prince William of Wales and Catherine Middleton (a commoner *gasp*) was being televised to the world. At two AM. Perfect.

So, here I sat, watching television, in a NyQuil state of euphoria (perhaps that's the fabulous find, no?) and I started seeing things pop across the screen. The first few weren't bad-

Understated, and actually kind of pretty - the Queen herself looks great in Yellow.

The Queen and Princess of Spain also used a great deal of restraint in their hat designs.

But then - I saw these...

She's a news-anchor's wife, so perhaps she didn't have anyone on the Royal Staff teaching her about grace and understated looks- (Like Catherine's dress-that was simply beautiful-like Princess Grace of Monaco.)

There were also several "Satellite Dish" designs-and in this image I don't know what's better, the hat or the facial expression?

(you see - she IS royalty - so there goes my theory that nobody counseled her on her clothing choice.)

A "vision" in blue ? seriously, I thought I was seeing things.

Possibly preparing herself for impeding alien attack? (If I just stand still, they'll think I'm a mushroom?)

Hat or bow, hat or bow ---- oh heck - we'll do both!

But this last one - totally took the cake.

What. The. Heck. Is. That? Is she a guest or is she gift wrapped?

Oh dear Princess...

Back to bed with me. I'm pretty sure I really am hallucinating. In order to have faith in fashion and humanity I must believe that.

G'night.

Thank you to Krystal for suggesting I post about these. Not only did she give me a great idea, but she also made me feel a little more confident I wasn’t hallucinating, because she saw them too.

The Slob Stopper

What comes to mind when you hear that?

A giant security guard/bouncer dude at the door of a fancy restaurant making sure you are wearing the appropriate attire?

An automatic comb/brush/hair styling combo guaranteed to keep you polished to perfection?

A house cleaning robot that takes husbands and children and locks them in a closet until they learn to pick up their stuff and put it away? (ahhhh-let's just enjoy that picture for a moment...)

If your imagination led you to any one of the three above scenarios - then - well, you need a new imagination. I'll show you a picture to give you a hint?

Does this help?

No huh?

Still no idea what the "SlobStopper" could possibly be?

I probably shouldn't keep you in suspense much longer?

This ginormous 20" x 40" vinyl tarp is a bib.

For adults.

Or children with a pituitary disorder. Whatever.

You see - you wear it in your car so that if you happen to get your favorite fast food for your long commute - it doesn't end up all over your shirt during the drive.

And according to this video it's handy - and Sexy. Because nothing says sexy like a grown adult wearing a bib who can't seem to keep their beverages in their cup?

Although, as a Mom, I'm totally buying one to wear when I take my kids and their friends out in public. I think I might also "forget" I have it on and wear it into the store/mall/sporting event. That. Would. Be. Awesome.

Beard-o-wear

"The world's first foldable, removable, and adjustable beard."

My question is - who the heck would wear one of these-in public, and on purpose?

Obviously it would have to be someone crazy, and not in their right mind?
Yea. Like that.
(see, this is totally funny, because I'm a Bears fan, and he's a total Cheese head.)

Thanks to Kim G. for sending this over-although I'm really surprised she had time to find this on the internet considering she's supposed to be a law student right now?

found on facebook - but I'm pretty sure they are also a legitimate company. www.facebook.com/beardowear

The Snuggie For MEN

I know.   I’m going to catch a lot of crap about this.  A lot of you LOVE your Snuggie.

But may I ask…when was the last time your HUSBAND said - “Man, I need me a blanket with sleeves…and make it a camouflage one so I don’t lose any cool points for wearing it when my buddies are over to watch football.”

Cricket.  Cricket….Chirp.  Chirp.

That’s what I thought.  Not a single respondent.

But let’s say on the off chance that those of you out there with men that DO love their Snuggie to watch football in somehow have laryngitis, and I simply couldn’t hear you when you spoke up earlier…Can I ask you – has your Manly Man of Men ever taken his precious snuggie fishing?

Because if he hasn’t, I’m really not sure why.  This seems super practical to me…right?

Sorry about the grainy picture of the man fishing in his Snuggie.  Apparently it isn’t as popular as one might think because there are simply no pictures outside of the one on the box of a man actually doing this.  Well either that or the man is simply too embarrassed to post them. 

Shoes…

There are a lot of fads in womens shoes these days.  I mean Lady Gaga alone could inspire an entire blog post with her footwear.

But these are not Lady Gaga’s shoes.

At least I’m pretty sure they are not --- these are actual FOR SALE footwear…now who would buy them…

Giraffe lovers?

Outside of the Box thinkers?

Clementine?
(Herring boxes without topses…c’mon sing with me!)

Carmen Miranda?

 

Bindi the Jungle girl – all grown up of course…

Do you enjoy barefoot walks across the grass?

 

And finally, I know barefoot running (sort of…) is all the rage these days…so why not these shoes for a night out on the town?

 

Something about these shoes makes me very glad I wear sandals – normal five dollar sandals from Wal-Mart.  Very, very glad.

Name Your Own Adventure

I’m still sick.

And it sucks.

Since I haven’t posted for a very.long.time…I’m going to take the easy way out.

Ah whatever – so sue me…no wait, don’t do that…

Here is today’s product:

I leave the commentary up to you – best comment gets a prize.

I totally expect comments about Siamese Twins and stalkers…I’m sure I’m opening this up to something I really shouldn’t…but – well, that’s what happens when you are sick.  You tend to lose all sense of write and wrong…(yes I did that on purpose…don’t knock my grammar)

Just keep it family friendly.  I do have an image to protect here…

Why Just Nap When You Can “Snazzy Nap!”

A friend of my husband sent this to me the other day…

 

I could comment on the fashion statement this makes.

But I won’t.

I could comment on the designs – my favorite being the little lamb -

 

But I won’t do that either.

 

I could also comment on how when this is in use it looks eerily like a corpse draped with the Medical Examiner’s cloth and also discuss how that would totally creep me out if I saw it on an airplane or in a public place.

 

But I certainly wouldn’t do that.

 

What I will ask – since the whole purpose of this is privacy while sleeping in public places, does it come with Ear plugs???

 

Thanks Matt M…I too wonder why we didn’t think of that first – oh yea, because we are normal sane people – for the most part anyway.

found at http://www.snazzynapper.com yes – there’s a whole website.

Bridal Diapers

When I got married my dress was big.  It was frilly.  It was ELABORATE…and it took about 20 minutes to get out of (mostly because of all the teeeny tiny buttons that ran down the back of it. 

Our wedding ceremony was at 10 o’clock in the morning and our reception at 6 that night with various other family festivities in between.  There was a brief stop off at my mother in law’s house where I was able to ditch the dress to take care of some…personal matters…but I also had an army of attendants there to help me in and out of the big puffy thing.

I have to admit though, even with all the time I’d be spending in that dress that day – I never, ever would have done this:

Think training pants for adults.

Can you imagine your first dance with your sweet new husband and he suddenly says….”do you smell something?  I distinctly smell urine…”

or the awkward moment back at the honeymoon suite…

“just a moment dear while I slip out of my diaper…”  Yes, because that will surely keep the flames burning…

What’s next?  Nuptual Noseplugs?

Thank you Tiffany S-W. for sending these to me…you were right, they were something I could write about!  Who ever thought diapers could be so interesting?

found at http://www.bridaldiapers.net

Travel Wise…Grashopper…

Ever travel abroad and have trouble communicating with the locals?

Ever find yourself standing on a street corner doing the potty dance in hopes that someone will recognize and understand the signals and point you in the right direction?

Then you need one of these:

Simply point to the question mark square in the center of your chest and then to the international sign for the service you seek…just don’t get the symbols confused because I’d really hate to see you ask where the bathroom is and end up at the airport – although most likely they’d have bathrooms at the airport so that might work…

Football Fanatics

I’m a football fan.

Big. Fan.

I have a college team – BYU (Go Cougars!) and my NFL team is ….

DA BEARS.

Ahem…sorry.

Anyway – football season starts soon.  And I’m so excited I can barely stand it.   So I started shopping for Bears and Cougars regalia so we can properly enjoy football season.  You know, the standard stuff – Jersey’s, blankets, hats with soda pop can holders…

And don’t forget the double zero Jersey for the dog…

Wait, what?

Here’s the deal – I do admit to dressing my dog.  I have a Chihuahua and she gets cold so I do have a few t-shirts and sweaters for her.  HOWEVER – I’ve never spent more than two dollars on any one shirt.

This. Jersey. Is. $29.95.

I don’t think I’ve ever spent that on any one item of my own clothing.   I’m a bargain shopper…

So to re-cap…I’m a football fanatic.  I dress my dog.  I’m not crazy enough to dress my dog in a jersey that costs more than two pairs of jeans from the Target.

That is all.

iShirt and iDress

Or, iStupid…whatever.

This Australian company has decided it’s far too hard to slip your iPad into your purse, backpack, or you know to simply CARRY it…so they’ve designed clothing for the iPad enthusiast.

Apparently, the iPad is Australia’s newest fashion accessory.

Ah, to be one of the beautiful people…

No really – to be one of the beautiful people, I’m pretty sure you don’t NEED one of these.

Thank you Matt M for the post.  I suppose the next thing we should watch for are iBoxers and the iBikini for the summer time iPad and iPhone enthusiast.

As Long as We Are Discussing Beauty-“enhancing” Products…

Can we please address the issue of Butt Pads?

I’m not talking about the charcoal Subtle Butt that we’ve featured before.

No, I’m talking about adding some extra fluff in your bottom, junk in your trunk, round to your ---well, okay you get the point.

The folks over at Feel Foxy want you to know that you can have a “cute round bottom as seen on Tyra Banks” with these silicone bottom enhancing pads.  (I think that these were featured on Tyra Banks’ show, not that they are saying you’ll get Tyra Banks’ bottom…then again, one never knows…)

*blink*

*blink*

Or you could use the second most preferred method by women everywhere (and most likely more enjoyable)

Chocolate.  Consumed in large quantities.

Of course, if you are kind of less graceful – these silicone pads might protect you from a painful fall…

The Coolest You’ll Look Pooping In Your Pants

And I really wish that was just a snazzy headline for this post, but sadly – no – it’s actually part of Huggies’ marketing campaign for their new Little Movers Diapers series…

Blue Jeans.

I’ve let my kid run around the house in just a diaper and a t-shirt before.  Honestly, what parent hasn’t?  But seriously?

It’s okay to wear just your underwear in public, as long as it looks cool.

Oh, and if you don’t believe me about their campaign slogan – here’s the commercial, straight from their website:

wait for it….wait for it….

I Poo In Blue. That sounds like a medical issue to me. Not a fashion statement. Just Sayin'.

Twilight…

I love Twilight.  That period before dusk where the sky is a brilliant shade of blueish blackish navy and the stars are just starting to appear…

wait – what?

Twilight is a book?

and a movie???

Okay – yes, I did know that…and out of principle alone I’ve not read it (or seen the movie(s).  I can appreciate a good book and a great movie – it’s the MERCHANDISING that drives me bonkers.

Yes, of course there’s the obligatory Twilight Lunch box (which of us as kids DIDN’T have a lunch box with our favorite movie character or super hero on it?)  I can leave that alone.

I can even appreciate the Twilight bedding set for the teenage girl who is absolutely without a doubt on Team Emeril  (what?  whatever his name is then.)

But – I mean --- Really???

How about a onesie for the not yet addicted (as far as they know)

Or a bra…

how about your very own Edward to cuddle with (in Pillow form of course?)

No, not like that….One more like this:

I gotta tell you, I really don’t see what all these women see in him…

Seriously though, the minute I see an Edward or Bella toothbrush, I may have to have myself temporarily committed to a home for the insane…just promise not to have me roomed with any vampires.

Goodnight, Irene.

I’m going to tell you a story.

The story of Irene.

She was tired…so tired.  She worked very hard in her job as a product quality tester in the Neckline Slimmer factory, and by the time she got off of work, she had a hard time holding her head up…

The ride home on the train was usually unbearable…

I mean, it really sucked.

Night after night, she’d fall asleep in her easy chair thinking – there has got to be a better way…

Sadly, there just was no answer to poor Irene’s problems…except for leaving her job as a quality control inspector at the Neckline Slimmer factory and moving on to something else that would ease her aching neck…

 

Too bad the only open position was Quality Control at the deodorant factory.