OSAMA's Dead Flask

A navy seal walks into a bar and orders an "Osama Bin Laden." The bartender looks at him quizzically and asks, "what's in that?" The seal replies..."Two shots and a splash of water."

Can I get a rimshot here? 

*ba dump bum*

Thank you, thank you folks, I'll be here all day!!!  Don't forget to tip your waitresses.

And now some words from our sponsor - OSAMADEADFLASKS.com.

Yea, no words...just pictures.

Maybe a few words...Okay, I see why you'd want to commemorate that day.  Being that I don't drink any alcohol - do you suppose it'd be okay to put Koolaid in there?

Holds five shots, so you can say that you got your five shots in on Osama...

Do you think red koolaid would be appropriate?

 Thank you Jarred of OsamaDeadFlasks.com for contacting me about your product. I honestly can't wait to get the samples in the mail - and I'm going to have to come up with a very interesting giveaway for them.  A simple drawing doesn't do a product like this justice.

Sky Rest Travel Pillow

I've not been sleeping very well lately.

Could be the cold I've had.

Could be that it's coming up on our spring carnival at school (which I'm in charge of ) and nothing is ready.

Could be stress over the recent flood and subsequent deconstruction of my laundry room...

Could be a lot of things.

Anyway, I am not sleeping well.

Normally it isn't too bad - unless any combination of the above comes into play - or if I'm on an airplane.

I hate sleeping on airplanes.

I actually hate flying altogether.

Maybe - to help me on both fronts then, sleeping and flying, I need to get me one of these:

 

Yep, this is the answer to all my woes.  Until the guy in front of you reclines his seat, and the kid behind you starts kicking yours and the flight attendants try to bring your drink - and then there is the whole pesky, "seat backs and traytables in the fully upright and locked position."

Plus, it just makes you look like a dork.

The Slob Stopper

What comes to mind when you hear that?

A giant security guard/bouncer dude at the door of a fancy restaurant making sure you are wearing the appropriate attire?

An automatic comb/brush/hair styling combo guaranteed to keep you polished to perfection?

A house cleaning robot that takes husbands and children and locks them in a closet until they learn to pick up their stuff and put it away? (ahhhh-let's just enjoy that picture for a moment...)

If your imagination led you to any one of the three above scenarios - then - well, you need a new imagination. I'll show you a picture to give you a hint?

Does this help?

No huh?

Still no idea what the "SlobStopper" could possibly be?

I probably shouldn't keep you in suspense much longer?

This ginormous 20" x 40" vinyl tarp is a bib.

For adults.

Or children with a pituitary disorder. Whatever.

You see - you wear it in your car so that if you happen to get your favorite fast food for your long commute - it doesn't end up all over your shirt during the drive.

And according to this video it's handy - and Sexy. Because nothing says sexy like a grown adult wearing a bib who can't seem to keep their beverages in their cup?

Although, as a Mom, I'm totally buying one to wear when I take my kids and their friends out in public. I think I might also "forget" I have it on and wear it into the store/mall/sporting event. That. Would. Be. Awesome.

Last iProduct…this week. Promise.

I’m sorry – I’m still a little dumbfounded at how the iPhone and iPod and iPad – and pretty much anything apple branded or related sells in droves.   DROVES I tell you.  People just flock to them like – kids in a vegetable store – or something like that.

Since I don’t have an iPhone or iPad – or anything with a little “I” in front of it this next product didn’t make any sense to me at all.  I wasn’t even going to post it here (I tend not to mock what I don’t understand…it’s a karma thing…) until a friend of mine explained to me that the locking mechanism on the iProducts is exactly like that…For the technologically challenged and for those who simply don’t care about iProducts – it’s a touch screen.  There’s a little bar on it that says “slide to unlock” and you use your finger to “slide” the button to open the phone and access it’s many amazing features – or you know – so you can play games.  Once  all that was explained to me, this product then made sense – and of course DEFINITELY had to be posted here.

A 17” magnet for the side of your car – which I’d totally buy if I wasn’t afraid that people would actually try it…although, it’d be totally fun to watch.

Retro is all the rage, but…

Just as I think we should really leave most 80’s fashions in the 80’s…I’m pretty sure the clunky phone handset can stay there too.

I don’t know about you, but when I’m looking for a headset for my phone, I’m looking for something a little more hands free and barely noticeable.  (I have so much fun having conversations with people on the phone and people in the store wonder if I am talking to them or not…really, try it – it’s great fun for a Friday night…in related news, I have no life.)

Anywho – if you want this thing – I suppose for the novelty of it all – you can get it here. 

Just try not to use it while driving.  I’m pretty sure that would get you pulled over.  Not because you were on the phone mind you, mostly because you might be suspected of being under the influence.  Just Sayin’.

Travel Trinkets

It’s always fun when you are traveling to go and look at the tourist items they have for sale.  You know the stuff – postcards with picturesque views of the state you are visiting, spoons shaped like copper shovels, hats that say “Lost my Head in Arizona” stuff like that. 

Here in Arizona it’s especially fun because all of our trinkets have pictures of rattlesnakes and scorpions on them…because you know – that’s all we’re known for out here.

But don’t forget next time you visit my lovely state of Arizona to pick up your Arizona Flask…

Ah, the beauty, the functionality – the travel sized Key-chain version…

 

Found at my local Wal-Mart with the Arizona shot glasses.  And I only got one or two funny looks as I took the pictures too…

Hizamakura Lap Pillow

Do you remember the Hug Me Pillow?  No?  You can see it Here.

Apparently the men felt left out of the whole “I need a special pillow to comfort me while you are away” thing.

So they decided to invent this:

What is it?  

Other than a creepy bottom half of a woman wearing a short skirt?

It’s a lap pillow of course.

Awww…doesn’t it just make you feel all warm and snuggly inside?

Yea, me either.

Again – found at Japan Trend Shop.  Where they are always coming up with new ways to comfort you. http://www.japantrendshop.com/hizamakura-lap-pillow-p-64.html

Why Just Nap When You Can “Snazzy Nap!”

A friend of my husband sent this to me the other day…

 

I could comment on the fashion statement this makes.

But I won’t.

I could comment on the designs – my favorite being the little lamb -

 

But I won’t do that either.

 

I could also comment on how when this is in use it looks eerily like a corpse draped with the Medical Examiner’s cloth and also discuss how that would totally creep me out if I saw it on an airplane or in a public place.

 

But I certainly wouldn’t do that.

 

What I will ask – since the whole purpose of this is privacy while sleeping in public places, does it come with Ear plugs???

 

Thanks Matt M…I too wonder why we didn’t think of that first – oh yea, because we are normal sane people – for the most part anyway.

found at http://www.snazzynapper.com yes – there’s a whole website.

Got Wi-Fi?

I know, I know – everyone can always use a good wi-fi signal.

I mean you know you’ve done it – sitting outside a Starbucks or a McDonalds with your laptop trying to send an email or check your favorite blog…some of you might be doing it right now…

Anyway – wouldn’t it be nice if someone came up with a way to detect wi-fi signals without having to drive down the street with your laptop open and waiting for a connection?  (of course not while STARING at your laptop.  You’d never want to drive and use your computer at the same time…at least not without one of these: http://www.someonewillbuythis.com/2009/12/travel-lap-top-desk.html – safety first people!!!)  Wouldn’t it be great if you could simply look down at your chest and determine if you had wi-fi access?

Ah, much better.

Of course the guys at www.Thinkgeek.com have saved the day once again.  Now you can announce to the world that you are a signal surfer.  I suggest you wear it and walk up and down your street – who knows what neighbor you can mooch of of next…

Not that I condone the use of your neighbor’s wireless connection.

Unless it’s an emergency

Like you need to read my blog.

Then it’s okay.

Candwich

If you follow our Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/someonewillbuyit) then you might have already gotten a taste of today’s find.

As a mother to five very opinionated kids (especially when it comes to how their PB&J is packaged and served – heaven forbid the sandwich should be squished when it comes out of the lunchbox…)  this product leaves me a little well…confused as to what I should be thinking about it.

You see, it’s a Canned Sandwich…a candwich…a sandwich in a can.

PB&J I think I might be able to understand and possibly even stomach to try it…

but…

…it also comes in Barbeque Chicken and Pepperoni Pizza Pocket – which sounds….um…delightful?

I promise one thing, if this actually does make it to market (promised Fall of 2010) I will buy one and photograph the trial of it.  I might, however, make someone else be the stunt mouth for this one.

CuppyCake

Because you know, you always needed a travel case for your single serve cupcake.

Just don’t tip it upside down. (So I’m thinking lunchbox use is a no?)

 

http://www.cupacake.com/shop.asp

Travel Wise…Grashopper…

Ever travel abroad and have trouble communicating with the locals?

Ever find yourself standing on a street corner doing the potty dance in hopes that someone will recognize and understand the signals and point you in the right direction?

Then you need one of these:

Simply point to the question mark square in the center of your chest and then to the international sign for the service you seek…just don’t get the symbols confused because I’d really hate to see you ask where the bathroom is and end up at the airport – although most likely they’d have bathrooms at the airport so that might work…

Scooter Stroller

Remember when you were a kid and you’d go grocery shopping with your mom – and when she wasn’t looking you’d take a running start and then jump up on the wheel bar of the shopping cart and ride it through the store?

I remember it like it was yesterday…

Probably because I did do that yesterday.

I’m not completely convinced that this fun little shopping pastime didn’t spawn this idea:

Not sure exactly what that is?

Here’s a better picture:

*blink*

{shaking head}

I am so disappointed that my kids no longer need strollers.

Thank you Matt and Eunice for throwing this our way.  I’m pretty sure I might still want to get one for Summer…ya think it’s adaptable for dogs?

Fashion Tech-sessory

Admit it, you like the title of this post.

Heh.

I’ve spent the last two days trying to set up a new cell phone.  You would think that in this age of all the technological advances and blah blah blah – there’d be an easier way to do this.

And for the record, I’m NOT technologically challenged.  Promise.

But – I do love me a good piece of technology.  And a good purse.  I have several purses.

I do not have this purse:

And quite frankly I’m confused…is this so that people around you can watch TV?  Because walking and watching cannot be safe…  Is there going to be a rash of women walking down crowded streets holding their bags in front of their faces because the latest “Twilight” movie is playing on their bag?  Imagine the car accidents – you thought driving and putting on makeup was bad – how about driving while watching Edward and Jacob fight for Bella’s undying love and devotion?

It’s a safety issue I tell you – safety PEOPLE!

And just imagine those women that suffer from OCOS disorder – Obsessive Compulsive Oh SHINY! – This is just plain cruel.  Am I right Ginger?  Ginger? – hey get away from those marbles….Ginger…GINGER????

(Love ya Gingah – mean it babe!)

Oh and if you do decide the safety risk is worth it…be prepared to pay top dollar for this one of a kind hand bag – and for the TV service subscription as well.

http://www.bagtv.com/

Pet Stroller

Ever need to take your dog for a walk but don’t want to mess with that pesky leash? 

Get annoyed when Fido decides to sniff every rock and tree and creature you pass by?

Do you have a mini-pup with small legs that just can’t keep up with you?

Do you have a lot of extra money laying around that you just don’t know what to do with?

Well then, do I have a deal for you.  For the low, low price of $333.34 you can own one of these babies:

(dog not included)

iShirt and iDress

Or, iStupid…whatever.

This Australian company has decided it’s far too hard to slip your iPad into your purse, backpack, or you know to simply CARRY it…so they’ve designed clothing for the iPad enthusiast.

Apparently, the iPad is Australia’s newest fashion accessory.

Ah, to be one of the beautiful people…

No really – to be one of the beautiful people, I’m pretty sure you don’t NEED one of these.

Thank you Matt M for the post.  I suppose the next thing we should watch for are iBoxers and the iBikini for the summer time iPad and iPhone enthusiast.

The Banana Guard – Guard Your Banana

This plastic case is meant to guard and protect your banana from squishage or premature browning in transport from home to work or school.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s probably a good idea…I mean hey, I can’t even count the number of times that my banana has not made it safely to it’s destination…really, I honestly can’t remember one instance TO count…

But hey, if you have severe banana issues, then this is for you.  No more premature ripening or banana ooze in your lunch bag.  Because nobody wants that.

The Banana Guard – Guard Your Banana.  (yes, that’s their tagline…I can’t take credit for that genius at all.)

Goodnight, Irene.

I’m going to tell you a story.

The story of Irene.

She was tired…so tired.  She worked very hard in her job as a product quality tester in the Neckline Slimmer factory, and by the time she got off of work, she had a hard time holding her head up…

The ride home on the train was usually unbearable…

I mean, it really sucked.

Night after night, she’d fall asleep in her easy chair thinking – there has got to be a better way…

Sadly, there just was no answer to poor Irene’s problems…except for leaving her job as a quality control inspector at the Neckline Slimmer factory and moving on to something else that would ease her aching neck…

 

Too bad the only open position was Quality Control at the deodorant factory.

Please Wash Your Hands…

So for those that don’t know, I have five children.

Five children that were, at one time, babies.  Little teeny tiny, defenseless babies.

They’ve since grown out of that…

Anywho…

One thing about babies in public places is this – everyone wants to touch the baby.  Including people that don’t KNOW the baby.  True story – in a grocery store I had a lady actually lift up the protective germ barrier fortress surrounding my baby (IE the blanket over the car seat) and stick her head UNDERNEATH to get a closer look.  Can we say invasion of personal space?

Too bad I didn’t have one of these:

Yea, because that’d keep Nosy Nillies away from your kids.   Sure it will…

Mommy I’m Here!

Ok, so I knew I was glutton for punishment when I went out and Googled “Bad Mother’s Day Gifts” but you know – anything to keep you all entertained.

One thing I didn’t expect though – a GPS device designed with the ultra paranoid, super sensitive mommy in mind.  Look, I’m a paranoid parent…I find myself audibly counting to five often when I’m in public with the kids (you know to make sure we haven’t lost – or even worse GAINED one in our travels…)  But I don’t know that I’d stoop to this level…at least not until they are teenagers.

That’s right ladies (and gents) it’s a cutesy wootsey little GPS device disguised as a bear with a belly button homing beacon.  Tie this to your kids’ shoe and never lose them again.  Or at least never lose them as long as they are within the pre-determined radial distance and within ear shot.