Commercials that Shouldn't - HP Printer Baby

I don't even know if I found this one cute at first - of course the hundreds of hours of play time it got in it's first week could be the reason for that.  But that's not why I posted it here today...Did you know this video caused an outpouring of support for child actors and child labor laws?  Seems there were a whole bunch of people upset that the baby was being dragged through the desert in a walker against their will.

Somebody - SAVE THE CHILDREN!
(before they grow up to be weird people that don't understand green screen technology and would believe that a production company would actually drag a baby though miles and miles of road and dirt just for a commercial...)

Don't believe me?  Read the comments on the youtube site where this was posted.  An exec from HP actually had to post this statement:

Some facts are needed. I was involved with the production. The commercial was done on green screen. There are very strict rules for child actors to protect their safety, comfort and protect their financial interest. All in compliance.Rules are very strict about how long the child can actually be on camera which is why triplets were used and not one child. This is to ensure the kids were given breaks and their well being came first. Enough with the? abuse. Children were safe. Period.

Sheesh. 

No actual children were harmed in the writing of this post.  While I do not use green screen technology in my work, I do always keep the health and welfare of the children first. My children are always safe and protected and free from harm. Why? Because I use one of these... http://www.someonewillbuythis.com/2010/02/baby-keeper.html

Thank you.

SO much for imagination

Are kids these days really so devoid of imagination that a good felt tip pen can't create a memory anymore?

Really, a hand drawn eyeball on your hand doesn't create hours of fun and puppet play anymore?

Honestly, where's the imagination these days?  When I was a kid, I could have totally dreamt these up with a ball point pen and a flashlight.  Possibly some bubble gum and a paperclip too - er, no, wait, that was MacGuyver.  Sorry - wrong memory.

Either way - kids are just not as creative on their own as we were as kids.  Honestly, when I was little I had a stick and some string and I was entertained for hours.  No - wait, that was my cat...or Huckleberry Finn...either way, wrong memory again my apologies.

I guess I really did have a deprived childhood.  But still - it is a sad world we live in when kids can't just enjoy a hand drawn face on someone's hand while it makes animal noises...wait...nevermind.

The Slob Stopper

What comes to mind when you hear that?

A giant security guard/bouncer dude at the door of a fancy restaurant making sure you are wearing the appropriate attire?

An automatic comb/brush/hair styling combo guaranteed to keep you polished to perfection?

A house cleaning robot that takes husbands and children and locks them in a closet until they learn to pick up their stuff and put it away? (ahhhh-let's just enjoy that picture for a moment...)

If your imagination led you to any one of the three above scenarios - then - well, you need a new imagination. I'll show you a picture to give you a hint?

Does this help?

No huh?

Still no idea what the "SlobStopper" could possibly be?

I probably shouldn't keep you in suspense much longer?

This ginormous 20" x 40" vinyl tarp is a bib.

For adults.

Or children with a pituitary disorder. Whatever.

You see - you wear it in your car so that if you happen to get your favorite fast food for your long commute - it doesn't end up all over your shirt during the drive.

And according to this video it's handy - and Sexy. Because nothing says sexy like a grown adult wearing a bib who can't seem to keep their beverages in their cup?

Although, as a Mom, I'm totally buying one to wear when I take my kids and their friends out in public. I think I might also "forget" I have it on and wear it into the store/mall/sporting event. That. Would. Be. Awesome.

Wooooaaahhh Daddy….

For the day when your achin’ back just can’t take anymore, but your kids just can’t get enough…

The Daddle.

If mom wears it is it the Momdle?

What about the Grandpadle?
(Nevermind, that sounds like something that would happen if Grandpa’s Depends fail.)

Found at: http://www.mamabebe.com/playhorhasne.html – giddy’up.

You Gonna Cover That Up?

Here in Arizona about two years ago, a mother was cited for breast feeding in public.

Granted, she was topless, and at a public swimming pool making absolutely no effort to cover up – at all – but you know, her personal choice, yada yada yada.  I personally nursed all 5 of my kids – but never in public like she did.  I’m much to quiet and reserved for that type of public display…shut up, I am too.

Anyway – I’m not going to get into whether I think it was wrong or right for her to be ticketed by police for indecent exposure.  I don’t even want to start the conversation (this is a humorous look at products after all, not a political forum – with the exception of the republican and democrat toilet paper, which we can all agree is funny regardless of which side of the proverbial fence you are on…)  I only bring it up because of this toy:

She seems innocent enough, right?

Um wait – Now I do believe I’ve seen it all in the world of kids toys. 

Two things -

1) Magnetic Pasties

and

2) Realistic sucking noises.

I’m just not sure where to file this one, educational toys?  Health and medical?  Strange and Creepy?  I’m just at a loss.

Bacon Baby

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

Everybody. Loves. Bacon.

or at least everyone should.

I’m not entirely certain (however) that this is entirely an appropriate way to introduce small children to the salty and meaty treat.

Then again, who am I to deny my children the bacon-y goodness?

(my kids are all so lucky they are off the bottle – or I would totally buy this just to see how they’d like it…I do have a great-nephew due in December though…I wonder if my niece will let me baby sit…)

(found at J&D’s – the home for all your bacon needs.)

Baby Bangs

I have four adoreable little girls.

And when they were babies – most of them looked like…boys.  C’mon, you all know that it is hard to tell the difference between a baby boy and a baby girl – most of the time anyway (and we are talking about babies with Diapers ON thank you, I do know the difference otherwise.)

Anyway, worry no more about being offended (or dumbfounded – whatever…) when someone asks you how old your beautiful baby boy is even though SHE is dressed from head to toe in PINK with PINK blanket and a PINK ribbon securely glued to her forehead.  (Yes, this did happen to me.  True story,  I swear.)

Introducing “baby bangs”  the hairpiece for babies.  The wig that says “I am NOT a boy.”

My Beautiful Mommy

In these days of Doctor 90210 and outpatient plastic surgery clinics...it's  very common place for women these days to get a little nip here and a little tuck there...

But sadly, many forget that there is one group of people deeply affected by this phenomenon.  Behind all the glamour and the glitz who is there for the children?

That's right, what about the CHILDREN?

One day mommy goes in for new, um - girlfriends - and the next she comes back looking more like your cousin Jennifer.

Very traumatic.

Worry no more - you can buy your precious little ones "My Beautiful Mommy" before you go in for your beautification and prepare them for what's coming up next.

Donate to your local COPS (Children of Plastic Surgery) today.  Someone has got to look out for the children, the poor innocent victims in all of this.

Pee Pee Bottle

Blink.
Blink.
I.will.never.borrow.a.water.bottle.from.another.parent.ever.ever.again.
Ever.

This is supposedly designed to rescue parents from the disgusting public restrooms.  You simply open the lid, and allow your children to – um…relieve themselves into the special “My Pee Pee Bottle”.
Two things…
1) What kid has good enough aim so that this is entirely hygienic?
and
2) ….blank stare….nevermind….
And, just so you know – the product does come equipped with a warning:

“Do NOT allow the child to put the bottle or lids in his or her mouth”.

Yes, thank you for telling me that…wow, catastrophe avoided.

The Baby Keeper

I’m a mother of five, and I have to admit – sometimes it’s difficult to keep my ever watchful eye on all five children at once.  And don’t get me started on when they were babies…oh goodness…they were all over the house – and lightning fast!  Too bad I didn’t have a Baby Keeper!  Oh no, of course not…I wasn’t quite that lucky.

Okay…so maybe this is a much better idea than hanging your child on the door knob in a plastic sack (which I also do NOT recommend – for the record.  I mean hey – if those bags rip with only a few cans of corn in them…not that I’ve tried it, because I haven’t, really.)  It’s also a much better method than this:

I mean the money saved on the repainting and duct tape alone…

(I’m shaking my head here…really, I’ve got nothing more to add to this – okay, you know me better than that, I have A LOT more I can add to this, but there is only so much time in the day…and you, my dear readers, need to get back to work….)

PeePee TeePee

I have to admit, I actually bought some of these when my son was born.

I don’t know about your little boys – but mine – well, when he went “peepee” he had quite a bit of power behind it…And the “teepee” well – it just ended up being a flying projectile, rather than a fluid stopping/absorbing tool.  Let’s just say – this little baby didn’t save us any extra late night “showers”.



In case you were confused – this sets on top of his wee willy winkie while you attempt a hopefully DRY diaper change…  I suppose one good thing could come out of it though…

"So, (Mr. Famous Astronaut) what inspired you to build the worlds first water powered Rocket ship...?"

"I can't quite put my finger on it, but I remember from a very young age watching rocket shaped items fly by the power of pressurized fluid...."

Ya, that’s probably just wishful thinking.