Noodles?

Maybe I just don't know enough about golf for this to make sense, but 'noodle, long and soft' seems questionable to me. Just sayin'.

It's Fooball Season!

And I'm a fan.

I like both college and the NFL - and I'm very devoted to my teams.  For college ball, I'm a Cougar Fan.  BYU most specifically - and not just because I'm LDS (Mormon) or even because my husband got his degree from there...But have you seen the quarterbacks that have come from there??? Serious eye candy in their prime.  BYU produces some great looking athletes. 

Steve Young. Jim McMahon. Ty Detmer.

Ahem.

Sorry.

Back to work.

Now, my NFL team is the Chicago Bears.  This is something I inherited from my dad...I guess you could say we were born this way.

*insert Gaga Sound track here...*

So - when it comes to football season, I get all giddy and excited and I start searching for the ultimate fan accessory that I might not yet have in my possession. 

You know like these:

Spirit fingerz...because every fan is in the stands with their "JazzHands..."  ...Yeaaaahhhh.... (in a drawn out jazzy sultry tone...)

or this:

Because no night out on the town is complete without your bedazzled rhinestone football purse.  Look, I'm a pretty girlee girly girl, but a bedazzled football purse?  That's just asking for trouble. And please don't make your husband hold this one while you go into the bathroom.  Who knows what would happen...

I'm not even really sure what that is.  Pretty sure it'd get stolen off of my front porch though.

However...

I am actually pretty sure I can't live without this...

'cuz it'd be awesome to make a grilled cheesehead sandwich.

Justin Bieber...Nail Polish

Okay, so I know all about the Biebster...I have two tweenage girls after all.  I also understand that celebrities tend to brand every day items as "their own" to capitalize on their fame and to gain more fortune...  examples of this:

Madden NFL games (You see, he's a football star, and he branded a football game.  Makes perfect sense.)

Wolfgang Puck Cookware.  (An amazing chef who has branded his own line of cookware...)

Michael Jordan Cologne. (Because we all want to smell like a sweaty athlete...)

And now, introducing the most recently celebrity branded product, sure to make perfect sense in the minds of millions of Americans...

Justin Bieber Nail polish.

Because he's pretty and looks like a girl?

We'll go with that.

Swallowable Parfume

I've been on hiatus for a while -- and I've been telling myself it was going to take something truly special to get me back in the swing of things...

This. Is. Definitely. Special.

Little pills that make you emanate odors that are uniquely your own.

Other things that you can ingest that will help you emanate odors uniquely your own?

Beans. Broccoli. Garlic. Mouthwash.

The basics.

Hello friends, it's good to be back.

Pork Barrel BBQ

I got an email from my husband this morning.  The subject line was: FW:Father's Day.  The preview said 'For those of you looking for that perfect father?s day gift idea.' 

I thought, sure - I never know what to get him.  Perhaps he's sending me a hint as to what to get this year...

Maybe not.

Discover Que, the intriguing new fragrance from Pork Barrel BBQ. An intoxicating bouquet of spices, smoke, meat, and sweet summer sweat.

Que. A tantalizing fragrance that attracts the opposite sex, giving them whiplash as you saunter by.

mmmm....intoxicating Summer Sweat.

I don't know that I've ever heard it quite put that way.

Pair it with the Lobster Cologne and I guess we can have Surf and Turf?

The Snuggie Goes Camping

Remember how we used to laugh at the Snuggie - the blanket with sleeves - and think "why didn't I think about selling backwards bath robes to poor unsuspecting individuals and earn lots of money while doing it?" Oh and we also thought "who on earth would buy that?" (because that is why you are here, after all)

Well now take a look - it's not a blanket with sleeves, it's a sleeping bag with legs.

Or if you aren't comfortable with a sleeping bag with legs - and you prefer your own footwear - (who doesn't, really.  I mean I don't like bowling alley's for a reason...)

I'll give it this - it is slightly more manly than the Snuggie for Men.

Only slightly though.  This one doesn't come in camouflage after all.

Loo Read

I know we've covered this a few times.  As a mother of five, I rarely get time alone.  I do retreat from time to time to the household throne room, close and lock the door and just bask in the quiet solitude.

(of course I only do this in the Master bedroom throne room - the others in the house aren't quite as relaxing if you get my drift...or if you were to get a whiff...same diff...hey I'm a poet!  Look ma, I can RHYME! on second thought, maybe a little free time outside of the throne room would be a good idea.)

According to the manufacturer - it's perfect for the tabloid sized newspapers - (because this is created in the UK an tabloid is the name for an actual newspaper - with real news and stuff, not just pictures of the latest mars invasion)  But larger newspapers will work well too with minimal overhang. 

Because the last thing you want in the bathroom is overhang.

Fabulous Finds Friday - Jimmie Chesh

Hello Someonewillbuythis readers...Meet Jimmie Chesh.  Jimmie Chesh - meet the Someonewillbuythis readers...

JimmieChesh is a musician - he plays the guitar, he sings, he dances - he's overall amazing.

(Okay, I lied about the dancing.)

But, he is amazing.

And he's today's Fabulous find.

Why?  Two reasons:

1) His music is real, it's sensitive, it's down to earth.  There isn't a single song I've found so far of his that makes me want to change the track.  In fact, it's the opposite.  I turn it up.  Waaaaay up.

2) He released five new songs today - and they are all free to download as MP3 files.

What's better than great music?

Great FREE music.

The five songs released today are all acoustic.  Just Jimmie and his Guitar.  He's got one of those voices that just makes you want to sit and listen.    A major influence is John Mayer ... let's all pause for a moment and appreciate that artist as well ... okay, moving on... And, as a person - he's also genuine.  I've gotten the extreme pleasure of getting to know Jimmie - and that makes me like his music even more.

So - visit him on facebook - http://www.facebook.com/jimmiechesh or at his website www.jimmiechesh.com and get to know him and his music.  He loves to interact with his fans/friends so send a shout out to him if you stop by.  And you know how hard it can be for a starving artist - so share him with your friends.  He won't mind.  (Sorry though girls, he's married.)

You can get Jimmie's free download by going to his website and registering or by becoming a fan on facebook.  In both cases, it's on the "music" page - and you can listen before you download, and then listen again, and again, and again....you get the picture.

Sky Rest Travel Pillow

I've not been sleeping very well lately.

Could be the cold I've had.

Could be that it's coming up on our spring carnival at school (which I'm in charge of ) and nothing is ready.

Could be stress over the recent flood and subsequent deconstruction of my laundry room...

Could be a lot of things.

Anyway, I am not sleeping well.

Normally it isn't too bad - unless any combination of the above comes into play - or if I'm on an airplane.

I hate sleeping on airplanes.

I actually hate flying altogether.

Maybe - to help me on both fronts then, sleeping and flying, I need to get me one of these:

 

Yep, this is the answer to all my woes.  Until the guy in front of you reclines his seat, and the kid behind you starts kicking yours and the flight attendants try to bring your drink - and then there is the whole pesky, "seat backs and traytables in the fully upright and locked position."

Plus, it just makes you look like a dork.

Forever Lazy

I have to give the product name credit.  It does make me wonder what in the world it is - and secretly makes me want it, if it works that is.

What woman out there wouldn't like the opportunity to be "forever lazy?"

What woman wouldn't enjoy a day actually sitting around watching Grey's Anatomy (or insert your favorite non-animated show here)and eating bon bons at least one day in her life?

The name Forever Lazy conjures up robotic maids and in house chefs and grocery delivery, and pool boys named Gorgeous...or Bob.  Whatever - as long as they wear the uniform (you know what I mean...)

Forever Lazy certainly doesn't conjure up this:

It's not a Snuggie - it's a fitted blanket - with sleeves and legs and - yes - a trap door you can use when you need to answer the call of nature.

Can you say sexxxxxy?

Now can you say it with a straight face while referring to this thing?????

More Royal Trinkets.

So I wanted to post about the shuttle launch. I wanted to comment on how cool it was and then show you some pretty interesting products in commemoration of the event. But - wouldn't you know it, I can't find any. They say that the shuttle didn't take off-but with the Royal Wedding and the Debacle concerning Princess Beatrices' hat-honestly I don't think American media has had a chance to discuss much else.

So, instead, I thought I'd share with you some more Royal Wedding Trinkets that you simply cannot live without.

Like this mug prominently featuring Catherine and her loving husband?

er...uh...brother-in-law. Whatever. You see one Prince you've seen them all, right?

Okay well, we've got to have something else around here you'd like to see - *shuffling papers* - Yes! This DIY book is the perfect wedding trinket, and it's so personal when you make it yourself...

...blink...blink...no no, that just won't do at all. To show the Queen in any color other than yellow is treason, is it not? (because she almost always wears yellow...or at least that's the color I always see her in, you know in my multiple sightings of her, on Television, in the middle of the night, while taking NyQuil).

If neither one of those work for you, then perhaps this is more your speed:

I mean, who wouldn't want to wake up each morning to get your daily crumpets and milk from this baby?

And if you pair it with your Charles and Diana Tea Towels, your kitchen would be fit for any Queen to visit?

(I'm going to stop right there. I could say so much more about a Wills and Kate kitchen, but - I'm going to show some restraint. What? Don't act so shocked.)

After you've decked out your kitchen in Royal regalia, and knitted your mini wedding, I think perhaps it might be time for a manicure...

and a cup of tea?

(not sure what the dollar bills are for in her hand?)

And finally, don't let your computer be left out of the phone. Purchase it a lovely mousepad with the official Royal Wedding Photo:

After all, you should have your copy of the bride's wedding photos before she does, should you not?

Come to think of it, I'm still waiting for my wedding photos. She's a lucky gal = getting married in the digital age. I believe all of mine are on film. For those of you that don't know what that is...ask your parents, be prepared for mean glares and possibly being told to go clean the bathroom, with your toothbrush, twice.

Rose Art Tattoo Writer

For the four year old HellsAngel in all of our homes.

Tramp stamp stencil sold separately.

The Slob Stopper

What comes to mind when you hear that?

A giant security guard/bouncer dude at the door of a fancy restaurant making sure you are wearing the appropriate attire?

An automatic comb/brush/hair styling combo guaranteed to keep you polished to perfection?

A house cleaning robot that takes husbands and children and locks them in a closet until they learn to pick up their stuff and put it away? (ahhhh-let's just enjoy that picture for a moment...)

If your imagination led you to any one of the three above scenarios - then - well, you need a new imagination. I'll show you a picture to give you a hint?

Does this help?

No huh?

Still no idea what the "SlobStopper" could possibly be?

I probably shouldn't keep you in suspense much longer?

This ginormous 20" x 40" vinyl tarp is a bib.

For adults.

Or children with a pituitary disorder. Whatever.

You see - you wear it in your car so that if you happen to get your favorite fast food for your long commute - it doesn't end up all over your shirt during the drive.

And according to this video it's handy - and Sexy. Because nothing says sexy like a grown adult wearing a bib who can't seem to keep their beverages in their cup?

Although, as a Mom, I'm totally buying one to wear when I take my kids and their friends out in public. I think I might also "forget" I have it on and wear it into the store/mall/sporting event. That. Would. Be. Awesome.

Beard-o-wear

"The world's first foldable, removable, and adjustable beard."

My question is - who the heck would wear one of these-in public, and on purpose?

Obviously it would have to be someone crazy, and not in their right mind?
Yea. Like that.
(see, this is totally funny, because I'm a Bears fan, and he's a total Cheese head.)

Thanks to Kim G. for sending this over-although I'm really surprised she had time to find this on the internet considering she's supposed to be a law student right now?

found on facebook - but I'm pretty sure they are also a legitimate company. www.facebook.com/beardowear

Valentine’s Day

Store Clerk: Welcome to The SWBT Valentine shop, how can I help you?

Customer: Hello – I’m looking for something special for my husband for Valentine’s Day…We don’t normally buy each other gifts, but he’s been working so hard this year, I just want him to know how much I appreciate him.

Clerk: Sure!  I think I have just the thing…

Customer: Um…not sure where you are going with this, but no – I’m pretty sure that giant gummy worms is not exactly what I’m looking for.  Do you have something else?

Clerk: Sure, Sure, okay – well how long have ya’ll been married?

Customer: Ten years.

Clerk: Okie dokie!  This is sure to be perfect for you love birds…

Customer: Um, I’m not really sure what you are trying to say, but tongue fur isn’t really an issue in our marriage.  Nor is morning breath.  I think I’d like something a little more romantic.

Clerk: Romance huh? 

Customer: You are single aren’t you.

Clerk: How’d you guess?

Customer: Just a stab in the dark.

Clerk: well, I’m just not sure I have the item you are looking for.  unlesss…You wouldn’t happen to like play dough would you?

Customer: as much as the next gal I suppose…

Clerk: How about this for your husband?

Customer: Um.  No.  No thank you – I’ll just go get him a card, or a tie, or – well anything else.

No More Book Elbow

I am a busy mom of five.

Six if you count the dog.

Seven if you count the husband.

Anyway – I don’t really have time to sit, relax and read a book.  Well, I guess I do, but if I did when would I research for this site?  Exactly.

If I did sit and read a book (which I do find the time for once in a while) I usually try to curl up in a small corner away from everyone and everything…and escape into my book.

I’m not sure this would fit into my own little private corner though…

On the plus side, you can read while lying on your back and don’t have to worry about your arms getting tired and hitting yourself in the nose with the book (not that I have ever done that.)  And it’s lighted – although it seems to me that it’d be kind of reminiscent of being in the dentist chair with the light in your eyes while he says “this will only pinch…” (Lie of the century – but whatever).  And the dreaded “book elbow” – you know what I mean – where your elbows start to ache from holding them in the same position for several hours…

Thank you anyway Sky Mall for trying.  I do know this is a huge problem among American women who are on their millionth reading of the Twilight saga (which I still haven’t read), or the millionth reading of The Hunger Games (which I did read, and hated…I know I’m such a non-conformist). 

Sky Mall – solving book elbow one awkwardly placed gadget at a time.

Wooooaaahhh Daddy….

For the day when your achin’ back just can’t take anymore, but your kids just can’t get enough…

The Daddle.

If mom wears it is it the Momdle?

What about the Grandpadle?
(Nevermind, that sounds like something that would happen if Grandpa’s Depends fail.)

Found at: http://www.mamabebe.com/playhorhasne.html – giddy’up.

Diamonds? Cubic Zircon? No…

It’s Grandma.

Or Fido.

Or Uncle Ste-vah.

Whatever you wish.

You see – you can send them the ashes of your recently (or not so recently) deceased loved one, and they will create a piece of Gemstone jewelry for you to wear.

Everyday.

So Grandma can always be close to your heart…

Or Fido can rest comfortably around your neck.

In gemstone form, of course.

Think – diamonds…with floating imperfections. (Although of course I would never call your Uncle Ste-vah an “imperfection”)

found at http://www.mycrystalcompanion.com and submitted by http://www.mycrystalcompanion.com, and I quote “we do have a certain sense of humor about our product and that is what has prompted us to contact you”

Thank you for contacting me…really – thank you.

Airbrush Body Tattoo Kit…

For those who want the Bad Boy persona…without all the pain…or permanence of it all.

Just don’t get it wet.

Because I’m pretty sure a running tattoo will surely lose you some major street cred.

(okay technically, the site does say they are waterproof – but that’s just not as funny.)

Hizamakura Lap Pillow

Do you remember the Hug Me Pillow?  No?  You can see it Here.

Apparently the men felt left out of the whole “I need a special pillow to comfort me while you are away” thing.

So they decided to invent this:

What is it?  

Other than a creepy bottom half of a woman wearing a short skirt?

It’s a lap pillow of course.

Awww…doesn’t it just make you feel all warm and snuggly inside?

Yea, me either.

Again – found at Japan Trend Shop.  Where they are always coming up with new ways to comfort you. http://www.japantrendshop.com/hizamakura-lap-pillow-p-64.html