OSAMA's Dead Flask

A navy seal walks into a bar and orders an "Osama Bin Laden." The bartender looks at him quizzically and asks, "what's in that?" The seal replies..."Two shots and a splash of water."

Can I get a rimshot here? 

*ba dump bum*

Thank you, thank you folks, I'll be here all day!!!  Don't forget to tip your waitresses.

And now some words from our sponsor - OSAMADEADFLASKS.com.

Yea, no words...just pictures.

Maybe a few words...Okay, I see why you'd want to commemorate that day.  Being that I don't drink any alcohol - do you suppose it'd be okay to put Koolaid in there?

Holds five shots, so you can say that you got your five shots in on Osama...

Do you think red koolaid would be appropriate?

 Thank you Jarred of OsamaDeadFlasks.com for contacting me about your product. I honestly can't wait to get the samples in the mail - and I'm going to have to come up with a very interesting giveaway for them.  A simple drawing doesn't do a product like this justice.

Osama. Is. Dead.

So why would I post that here?

First of all - because I am extremely proud of our American Military - which happens to include a few of my brothers, my nephew, and my niece...currently serving far far away.

and Second?

Because that means that a lot of these products are going to be Hot, hot HOT this week.

Stock up now.  You'll want yours for the celebrations that are certain to follow.

I don't drink coffee - but I want at least two of these. One for each hand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You know, this would be great in the guest bathroom?

(Found at PrankPlace)

 

 

Along with this...nothing would give me more pleasure than plunging that head in my toilet repeatedly.  In the kids' bathroom. Ah yeah.

(found on Amazon.com)

 

 

Let's not leave out the puppies.  They want to celebrate too.

Mission Accomplished.

Sweet!

(found on CafePress)

 

Anyway - Congratulations US Military.  Job well done.  Now, stay safe while you continue the amazing work you do.  Those of us at home appreciate it. Every Minute.

More Royal Trinkets.

So I wanted to post about the shuttle launch. I wanted to comment on how cool it was and then show you some pretty interesting products in commemoration of the event. But - wouldn't you know it, I can't find any. They say that the shuttle didn't take off-but with the Royal Wedding and the Debacle concerning Princess Beatrices' hat-honestly I don't think American media has had a chance to discuss much else.

So, instead, I thought I'd share with you some more Royal Wedding Trinkets that you simply cannot live without.

Like this mug prominently featuring Catherine and her loving husband?

er...uh...brother-in-law. Whatever. You see one Prince you've seen them all, right?

Okay well, we've got to have something else around here you'd like to see - *shuffling papers* - Yes! This DIY book is the perfect wedding trinket, and it's so personal when you make it yourself...

...blink...blink...no no, that just won't do at all. To show the Queen in any color other than yellow is treason, is it not? (because she almost always wears yellow...or at least that's the color I always see her in, you know in my multiple sightings of her, on Television, in the middle of the night, while taking NyQuil).

If neither one of those work for you, then perhaps this is more your speed:

I mean, who wouldn't want to wake up each morning to get your daily crumpets and milk from this baby?

And if you pair it with your Charles and Diana Tea Towels, your kitchen would be fit for any Queen to visit?

(I'm going to stop right there. I could say so much more about a Wills and Kate kitchen, but - I'm going to show some restraint. What? Don't act so shocked.)

After you've decked out your kitchen in Royal regalia, and knitted your mini wedding, I think perhaps it might be time for a manicure...

and a cup of tea?

(not sure what the dollar bills are for in her hand?)

And finally, don't let your computer be left out of the phone. Purchase it a lovely mousepad with the official Royal Wedding Photo:

After all, you should have your copy of the bride's wedding photos before she does, should you not?

Come to think of it, I'm still waiting for my wedding photos. She's a lucky gal = getting married in the digital age. I believe all of mine are on film. For those of you that don't know what that is...ask your parents, be prepared for mean glares and possibly being told to go clean the bathroom, with your toothbrush, twice.

Fed Up With Politics?

Let your favorite politicians and government agencies know what you REALLY think of them with this fabulous product from www.prankplace.com.

**disclaimer**(okay, just because a website is called Prank Place – and just because the products here are knowingly in the “gag gift –definitely not a serious purchase” category – I think this product still deserves a mention here, after all, someone WILL buy it…)

Ah hem…

Introducing-

Political Toilet Paper!
 
That’s right, show the political party of your choice how you feel about their “agenda” with an agenda of your own. 

Not an Obama fan?   Then the Barack Obama toilet paper is for you – Pelosi? Yep, she’s there too.  There’s even some George W paper – if that tickles your fanny  er, Fancy…(sorry)

Then there’s this paper - featuring Bin Laden – which in my humble opinion EVERY American household should have.  (Take THAT  - - - FLUSH….)

Where’s your little cave now?

And in honor of Tax Season – which is upon us (sorry about the reminder…)  Why not buy some form 1040 paper?  Every trip to the bathroom will be another statement made to the IRS…

Why not literally flush your frustration down the toilet?

I think we can all agree that this is a great way to stimulate the economy…so to speak.

The Clintons…

Okay, so every once in a while something comes along that renders me completely speechless.

If you’ve read this blog for any length of time (or know me personally…) you know that is a very hard thing to do.

This one however – I have no words for. 

That’s right, no actual words.

Giggles, laughter, tears streaming down my face, and apparent fits of being starved of oxygen because I can’t seem to catch my breath because I’m laughing so hard….that’s what this one does for me. 

I’m going to leave the rest up to you.  May I introduce to you the current Secretary of State Nutcracker, and Former President cork screw…

Short of the folks on the extreme side of both political parties (whom we can all agree are already nuts – no pun intended)  I can’t think of any single person who would buy this.

Okay, maybe one person.  But he doesn’t count.

http://www.hillarynutcracker.com/

Chia Obama

Ok, I have to admit, I’ve fallen prey to the Chia Pet madness.  I owned one – well two actually if you count the herb garden.  I am a child of the 80’s after all, and that is when these babies made their debut.

I can’t help but wonder – in all the strides we’ve taken in racial equality and not stereotyping – is a terra cotta version of our President with an 80’s Afro made out of alfalfa really appropriate? 

*stern look and eyebrow raised*

What is this teaching the children anyway?

Of course in the spirit of being politically correct – there is a Chia Hillary also available.  Wow, they’ve thought of everything – now there is something for everyone.

https://www.chiaobama.com/flare/next

OK now, sing along with me …cha cha cha chia!