It's Fooball Season!

And I'm a fan.

I like both college and the NFL - and I'm very devoted to my teams.  For college ball, I'm a Cougar Fan.  BYU most specifically - and not just because I'm LDS (Mormon) or even because my husband got his degree from there...But have you seen the quarterbacks that have come from there??? Serious eye candy in their prime.  BYU produces some great looking athletes. 

Steve Young. Jim McMahon. Ty Detmer.

Ahem.

Sorry.

Back to work.

Now, my NFL team is the Chicago Bears.  This is something I inherited from my dad...I guess you could say we were born this way.

*insert Gaga Sound track here...*

So - when it comes to football season, I get all giddy and excited and I start searching for the ultimate fan accessory that I might not yet have in my possession. 

You know like these:

Spirit fingerz...because every fan is in the stands with their "JazzHands..."  ...Yeaaaahhhh.... (in a drawn out jazzy sultry tone...)

or this:

Because no night out on the town is complete without your bedazzled rhinestone football purse.  Look, I'm a pretty girlee girly girl, but a bedazzled football purse?  That's just asking for trouble. And please don't make your husband hold this one while you go into the bathroom.  Who knows what would happen...

I'm not even really sure what that is.  Pretty sure it'd get stolen off of my front porch though.

However...

I am actually pretty sure I can't live without this...

'cuz it'd be awesome to make a grilled cheesehead sandwich.

More Royal Trinkets.

So I wanted to post about the shuttle launch. I wanted to comment on how cool it was and then show you some pretty interesting products in commemoration of the event. But - wouldn't you know it, I can't find any. They say that the shuttle didn't take off-but with the Royal Wedding and the Debacle concerning Princess Beatrices' hat-honestly I don't think American media has had a chance to discuss much else.

So, instead, I thought I'd share with you some more Royal Wedding Trinkets that you simply cannot live without.

Like this mug prominently featuring Catherine and her loving husband?

er...uh...brother-in-law. Whatever. You see one Prince you've seen them all, right?

Okay well, we've got to have something else around here you'd like to see - *shuffling papers* - Yes! This DIY book is the perfect wedding trinket, and it's so personal when you make it yourself...

...blink...blink...no no, that just won't do at all. To show the Queen in any color other than yellow is treason, is it not? (because she almost always wears yellow...or at least that's the color I always see her in, you know in my multiple sightings of her, on Television, in the middle of the night, while taking NyQuil).

If neither one of those work for you, then perhaps this is more your speed:

I mean, who wouldn't want to wake up each morning to get your daily crumpets and milk from this baby?

And if you pair it with your Charles and Diana Tea Towels, your kitchen would be fit for any Queen to visit?

(I'm going to stop right there. I could say so much more about a Wills and Kate kitchen, but - I'm going to show some restraint. What? Don't act so shocked.)

After you've decked out your kitchen in Royal regalia, and knitted your mini wedding, I think perhaps it might be time for a manicure...

and a cup of tea?

(not sure what the dollar bills are for in her hand?)

And finally, don't let your computer be left out of the phone. Purchase it a lovely mousepad with the official Royal Wedding Photo:

After all, you should have your copy of the bride's wedding photos before she does, should you not?

Come to think of it, I'm still waiting for my wedding photos. She's a lucky gal = getting married in the digital age. I believe all of mine are on film. For those of you that don't know what that is...ask your parents, be prepared for mean glares and possibly being told to go clean the bathroom, with your toothbrush, twice.

Valentine’s Day

Store Clerk: Welcome to The SWBT Valentine shop, how can I help you?

Customer: Hello – I’m looking for something special for my husband for Valentine’s Day…We don’t normally buy each other gifts, but he’s been working so hard this year, I just want him to know how much I appreciate him.

Clerk: Sure!  I think I have just the thing…

Customer: Um…not sure where you are going with this, but no – I’m pretty sure that giant gummy worms is not exactly what I’m looking for.  Do you have something else?

Clerk: Sure, Sure, okay – well how long have ya’ll been married?

Customer: Ten years.

Clerk: Okie dokie!  This is sure to be perfect for you love birds…

Customer: Um, I’m not really sure what you are trying to say, but tongue fur isn’t really an issue in our marriage.  Nor is morning breath.  I think I’d like something a little more romantic.

Clerk: Romance huh? 

Customer: You are single aren’t you.

Clerk: How’d you guess?

Customer: Just a stab in the dark.

Clerk: well, I’m just not sure I have the item you are looking for.  unlesss…You wouldn’t happen to like play dough would you?

Customer: as much as the next gal I suppose…

Clerk: How about this for your husband?

Customer: Um.  No.  No thank you – I’ll just go get him a card, or a tie, or – well anything else.

Time to Trim the Tree…

When trimming your tree this year – please, don’t forget the ornaments that have somehow journeyed here from the island of misfit toys…

Yes, that’s a pickle.  Because no tree is complete without a pickle.

 
Because there might just be one child in your house who isn’t yet afraid of clowns…yet.

Kids…did you ever wonder how Santa could “see you when you’re sleeping and know when you’re awake….” 

And don’t even get me started on the whole selection of “Pornaments” offered by Spencer’s Gifts.  Yea, I totally am NOT going there…

And finally – just to prove that our UPS guys have an amazing sense of humor – because you know they’d have to in a season of a million packages…

Ahhh…the beauty, the splendor – the – smell of cardboard.

Merry Christmas Shoppers!

Special thanks to Bronners, Spencers Gifts, and UPS for these, um … fabulous additions to the holiday decor.  No, really.  Thank you.  Without you guys – I’d really have nothing to do.

More Thanksgiving Day Finds…

Planning your perfect Thanksgiving dinner?  Do you have your turkey picked out and thawed out for cooking tomorrow?  You didn’t thaw out the turkey? 

That’s okay – you can always serve this instead…

*shudder*

That’s right folks – your very own turkey shaped Jell-O mold.

Oh, and don’t forget to wash it down with this:

The Jones Soda Company’s yearly treat – Tofurkey and Gravy Soda.  Mmmmm…

Make your friends and family say - “Can we at At McDonalds this year????”

The sure fire way to make sure you never have to host Thanksgiving again…ever.  Probably Christmas and Easter at your house will be cancelled too.

The Most Wonderful Time of The Year…

I love this time of year.  People always find the most inventive ways to take ordinary items and turn them into splendid holiday gifts.

I love walking into stores and finding previously neglected items turned into amazing holiday gifts with the addition of a simple wrapping bow:

Nothing says Happy Holidays like Red Meat -  Amiright???

I seriously think I’ve underestimated the gift quality of meat.  Seriously.

Meat also makes a great decoration, in case you didn’t know…

Ahhhh…the pork and potatoes nativity … a must in every home.  This decoration is also accompanied by the time honored Christmas Carol “We Three Kings Became Puppy Chow” (Sung to the tune of “We Three Kings Of Orient Are” of course)

These bath gift baskets have always made me giggle.  I realize they are supposed to be a gift of relaxation and pampering treatments – however whenever I get one I can’t help but think…

“Merry Christmas Mom!  You STINK!!!”

(Pretty please use this before our company gets here…no really, hurry.  Maybe you should use it twice…)

This next gift is a beautifully wrapped piece…

Isn’t it gorgeous?  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to get chocolate for Christmas.  The more the merrier – BUT, it still kinda says “I thought of you while standing in the grocery checkout line…” Dontcha think?

Oh – Wait, I get it---you are buying the chocolate bar for the same person you are buying THESE for:

(isn’t it awesome how they incorporated the BOW into the packaging?  No need to wrap!  Pure GENIUS I tell you!  GENIUS!)

Or finally – because buying her that blender last Christmas didn’t get you in enough trouble…

Oh look!  What I always wanted … A Bottle brush.  Gee.  Thanks.

 

 

Thank you Bill C. for pointing out to me that meat is not only thoughtful but also romantic.  Who knew…

Give Thanks…

To the Porcelain Throne.

I mean heck – as long as you are decking out the house for the holidays, you better remember the most used seat in the house, am I right?

Of course I am.

Toilet Tattoos – The Thanksgiving design (which makes me think there are other designs out there too???) for Elongated or standard toilets. 

Fabulous.

There now, I’m back. And in the spirit of Thanksgiving,  I’m sure you’re giving thanks for that.  Did you miss me? :)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!