Sushi Poppers

Mmmmm…Fresh Sushi…in a frozen cardboard tube and eaten much like a push pop ice cream treat…

Fresh and delivered daily.

As fresh as frozen sushi can be anyway.

(I’m classifying this as an edible gift – but you must know, I have my reservations about that.)

Do you have your turkey yet?

Ever find yourself the day before Thanksgiving without the main course?

Have you ever gone to the store to find one only to discover they are all FROZEN SOLID and there’s no way you’ll get it thawed, seasoned, cooked and on the table on time?

Do you own a rifle?

If you answered YES to any of the above – but mostly to the third one – you may be in luck. (uh, so to speak…)

Don’t worry about trying to fish all those pesky steel shot pellets out of your game.  Just pluck it clean and place it in the oven…the flavor pellets (ie: ammo) will melt in the oven to season the bird for you!   Shoots, Kills, Seasons.

Wow, a two-step turkey.  Ya know, with the first step being go out and hunt it down…

I think I’d rather take my chances with the frozen turkey – personally.  Just think of the mess to clean up the kitchen alone after an endeavor like this…and then you still have to make pies!

The Most Wonderful Time of The Year…

I love this time of year.  People always find the most inventive ways to take ordinary items and turn them into splendid holiday gifts.

I love walking into stores and finding previously neglected items turned into amazing holiday gifts with the addition of a simple wrapping bow:

Nothing says Happy Holidays like Red Meat -  Amiright???

I seriously think I’ve underestimated the gift quality of meat.  Seriously.

Meat also makes a great decoration, in case you didn’t know…

Ahhhh…the pork and potatoes nativity … a must in every home.  This decoration is also accompanied by the time honored Christmas Carol “We Three Kings Became Puppy Chow” (Sung to the tune of “We Three Kings Of Orient Are” of course)

These bath gift baskets have always made me giggle.  I realize they are supposed to be a gift of relaxation and pampering treatments – however whenever I get one I can’t help but think…

“Merry Christmas Mom!  You STINK!!!”

(Pretty please use this before our company gets here…no really, hurry.  Maybe you should use it twice…)

This next gift is a beautifully wrapped piece…

Isn’t it gorgeous?  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to get chocolate for Christmas.  The more the merrier – BUT, it still kinda says “I thought of you while standing in the grocery checkout line…” Dontcha think?

Oh – Wait, I get it---you are buying the chocolate bar for the same person you are buying THESE for:

(isn’t it awesome how they incorporated the BOW into the packaging?  No need to wrap!  Pure GENIUS I tell you!  GENIUS!)

Or finally – because buying her that blender last Christmas didn’t get you in enough trouble…

Oh look!  What I always wanted … A Bottle brush.  Gee.  Thanks.

 

 

Thank you Bill C. for pointing out to me that meat is not only thoughtful but also romantic.  Who knew…

Drinks

Today I’m not feeling well.  Honestly – not sure why.  My husband will tell you it is because I do too much and don’t rest enough.  I will tell you it’s because I have five children and three of them recently started school – along with a whole bunch of other children…a friend of mine will tell you that schools are just germ factories, which is why so many of them produce doctors.

Anyway.  Because my throat hurts I was looking for something to soothe it.

There are a lot of beverages out there to cure your medical conditions such as:

I’m pretty sure that one is for urinary tract infections.

And this one:

For those inflicted with hypohidrosis (people that can’t sweat on their own, or don’t produce enough of it…)

I’ve also located this seemingly helpful beverage…I think it is a substitute for Bean-o.

The following I’m a little confused on…not sure if it gives you SARS or is supposed to be an antidote for it:

The next one is genius.  I mean pure genius.  Whoever thought of selling water to those with aquaphobia (fear of water…not to be confused with hydrophobia which is an aversion to swallowing liquids and is commonly associated with rabies in humans) …well they were just pure – genius.

Waterproof water…amazing.

Sadly I never did find anything to cure my sore throat.  I guess I just stick to the old standby of hot water with honey and lemon.  However, I do feel comforted to know that beverage makers of the world are out to cure common ills, don’t you?

I feel I have to add a disclaimer, because you know there are one or two folks out there that will read this and then make a run to their nearest grocer or druggist to buy a case of fart juice for their loving spouse.  Of course none of these beverages do the things I say they do, they are just very oddly named…I think.  I’ve never purchased one so I guess I could be wrong…maybe they are amazing cures for whatever ails you…maybe not.

Bacon Baby

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

Everybody. Loves. Bacon.

or at least everyone should.

I’m not entirely certain (however) that this is entirely an appropriate way to introduce small children to the salty and meaty treat.

Then again, who am I to deny my children the bacon-y goodness?

(my kids are all so lucky they are off the bottle – or I would totally buy this just to see how they’d like it…I do have a great-nephew due in December though…I wonder if my niece will let me baby sit…)

(found at J&D’s – the home for all your bacon needs.)

Candwich

If you follow our Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/someonewillbuyit) then you might have already gotten a taste of today’s find.

As a mother to five very opinionated kids (especially when it comes to how their PB&J is packaged and served – heaven forbid the sandwich should be squished when it comes out of the lunchbox…)  this product leaves me a little well…confused as to what I should be thinking about it.

You see, it’s a Canned Sandwich…a candwich…a sandwich in a can.

PB&J I think I might be able to understand and possibly even stomach to try it…

but…

…it also comes in Barbeque Chicken and Pepperoni Pizza Pocket – which sounds….um…delightful?

I promise one thing, if this actually does make it to market (promised Fall of 2010) I will buy one and photograph the trial of it.  I might, however, make someone else be the stunt mouth for this one.

Now With Magical Marshmallows…

I was at the store the other day.  We’ll call the store “Schmall-mart” (only because I need to protect the retailer from certain embarrassment simply because they carry this product….)  Anyway I was in the freezer section looking for something healthy and good for you (what…it could happen…) and I found these:

Cereal Conez…now with Magical Marshmallows.

Think Drumsticks – only….not.

Remember how your favorite part of the Lucky Charms used to be the Marshmallows?  That is before you grew up and got all health conscious…okay well some of you did. 

These cones attempt to mix our two favorite things from childhood – ice cream cones and Magical Marshmallows.

I. Had. To. Try. Them.

Yes, that’s me.  Don’t laugh.

I invited my friend Ginger over and we proceeded to experiment…well I did.  She took the pictures…lucky, lucky girl.

The reveal….
 
The discovery…

The texture test…ooooooo….Spongy….(which by the way, I’m not even certain is a word, but Ginger and I say it is…so there.)

The first attempted bite…It was a false start…I smelled the marshmallow goodness and had to regroup…besides, the marshmallows were not like the ones I remembered from my bowl of Lucky Charms last night when I was little…they were soft and squishy and … well…not at all what I was expecting.

Okay…here we go…ready, set…

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!  But look at all the pretty colors…

Sad to say, it wasn’t exactly the magical moment I was promised…however the kids liked them…which is good, because I would hate to say that I just took a three dollar bite of marshmallow magic.

 

They certainly look happy…

 

Caution: not to be eaten without supervision…there is chocolaty goodness that coats the inside of the spongified (again, it is a word because WE say so…) cone after all…

I Admit It, I’m A Sorter…

Today is my birthday - (which explains the late post…or at least I say it explains it.  None of the activity explained below has anything to do with this late post…promise.)

Anyway – two of my friends (remember the ladies with the fans?  Yea, them…)  noticed that I’m apparently incapable of eating Skittles candy without sorting them first.

Yes, I sort my Skittles – you can blame my mother for that.  I love her for it too – really I do. really.

So these two friends took it a step further and decided that if I can’t eat Skittles without sorting them, I probably can’t eat any other mixed colored candy without sorting it either.

Guess what – they were right.

All this week, every day – twice a day – I’ve received a package.  What was in the package?  A small bowl filled with mixed colored candies.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

There was even one full of M&M’s – plain and peanut together in the same bowl. OH THE HUMANITY!  ahem…sorry, I’m better now.  Honest.

Problem was, once I sorted the plain from the peanut – I couldn’t leave it alone.

All those colors mixed together just looked… messy.

So, here it is, in all my obsessive compulsive disorder.

     

So here’s my product proposal – because I know I’m not the only sorter out there…

I KNOW I’m not – and don’t tell me otherwise…I’m not crazy…la la la la la*fingers in ears…*I’m not listening!I 

Please – candy companies of the world…sell your flavors as individually packaged novelties.    I’m telling you – it’s a new niche market.  You’ll make millions.

Millions…you hear me – there’s at least that many people out there like me. 

Shut up – there are too.  Let me believe it.  It makes me feel better.

Chew By Numbers

A few weeks ago my friends and I decided to throw a birthday party for our friend who was turning – um…let’s just say somewhere in the “30’s.”  The theme of the night (since we are all off balance by about 20 degrees or so) was “princess meets 12 year old girl.”

That’s right, we threw a princess party for a fully grown adult.

Do you have a problem with that?  I didn’t think so…

Moving on – one part of the party was a bubble gum biggest bubble contest.

30-some-things should never, ever, ever attempt to chew bubble gum – let alone blow bubbles.

Don’t believe me?  Try it.  Your jaw will never speak to you again.

Next birthday party, we should break out with these:

You see – you chew the different colored bubble gum, and place it on the canvas in the appropriate numbered space.

And if you have sensitive teeth and jaws – they come in sugar free:

I suppose it keeps you from putting the gum under the table though…and look, you get a nifty piece of artwork to share with your mommy.

Because, that’s not gross at all.

Brought to you by Perpetual Kid - http://www.perpetualkid.com/gum.aspx  (and hidden from you by horrified mothers everywhere.)

Yet Another Company That Should ReThink Thier Name

And possibly their slogan.

Bimbo Bread company.

Bringing families together since 1945.

(I bet they are…)

Thank you Kim S for pointing this one out.

Fud

Okay, so I know that this is a very popular processed meat food in Mexico.

I completely understand that there are words in other languages that just look funny to us ignorant Americans.

This one just made me laugh out loud. 

In the middle of Wal-Mart.

In the meat department.

Yesterday.

Couldn’t help it.  I completely embrace my ignorance.

Yep, that’s FUD alright.  Glad we solved that mystery.

Fabulous Finds Friday – Cookie Dipped Drumsticks

Okay, so I have an ice cream problem. 
The problem is, there is never enough.  Really.  That’s my problem.
I’ve always liked the quick easy ice cream treats like Klondike bars and Drumsticks – the only problem is they’ve always been messy.  Klondikes break open and the ice cream melts all over and Drumsticks have those nuts that go everywhere…
But not the Cookie dipped ones.
These things are so fabulous.

The chocolate on the outside is a perfect blend of creamy chocolaty goodness with bits of crunchy chocolate cookie mixed in.  The cone (as always) is crunchy and not chewy…and if you are lucky you can get one that has a caramel center.
mmmmmm….caramel.
Anyway – these things are awesome.  You need one.  Now.

In case you are wondering why I’d chose an ice cream novelty treat as my fabulous find I’ll give you two reasons…reason one: 115 and reason two: 90.   What is that you say?  Today’s high and low temperatures.  That’s right, it’s nearly midnight as I write this, kids are in bed and it’s dark outside – and it’s 90 degrees.  Now, excuse me while I go eat more ice cream.

Bacon-Pop

Yet another genius idea from the bacon lovers of the world. 

And I’m kinda torn – this one probably should be posted tomorrow…because ya know, tomorrow is Friday…

But…

Bacon Flavored Popcorn.  It’s vegetarian and Kosher…

Because everyone loves veggie bacon.

Found at Perpetual Kid.

Liquid Cereal

Ok, so you just poured yourself a big bowl of Apple Jacks complete with milk, and the phone rings.  An hour later – you find your once crispy cereal is now a bowl full of mush – green and orange colored mush.

Now, most normal people would pour the cereal down the drain, and start over.

Notice I said – NORMAL people.

But this site isn’t about normal…no, so the alternative to the mushy cereal down the drain?  Can it and sell it as the newest awesome breakfast food!

mmmmm….liquid cereal.  Because we’ve all become just a little too lazy to chew our own food.

Canned Bacon

In honor of Easter, how about some Canned Bacon?

How does bacon fit into Easter?  Well…Ham is the traditional Easter food, right?  Bacon and ham come from the same place…

Okay so it’s a stretch.  Whatever.  Enjoy your canned bacon.

Available in the US for the first time in 20 years…(Why oh why did this ever disappear from the market???  WHHHYYYY!!!???) And not available in any stores…Yoder’s Canned Bacon.  You won’t even know it came from a can…

Coture Lolli-pops

Whoever said a lollipop wasn’t a fashion accessory?

What?  no one?  Nobody has ever considered a lollipop as essential in their wardrobe as say their purse or favorite pair of earrings?

Huh.  Well then I guess you wouldn’t want to pay $22.00 for this then:

In case you were wondering, the handle IS reusable – you can buy extra lollipop heads in a package of 3 for $12 dollars.

My question – are these made by DumDums? 

Huh.

I guess not.

Could’ve fooled me.