Thursday, September 30, 2010

Real Or Not Real

*enter music and 25 gorgeous 20-something men (think GQ here people…)with briefcases…*

Hello, and welcome to REAL or NOT REAL – the show that helps you determine if the marketing geniuses at ACME are behind these fabulous new products or if they actually are products that someone “WILL BUY”…I’m Wowie Canttell – and our first contestant is IDA Buyanything.

In the first case – the iARM…the hands free device for all of your electronic needs…

Wowie: What do you think?  Real or Not Real???

IDA: *excited shopper with credit card in hand…*

REAL, definately real Wowie!  I want ten!

Wowie: oh.  so CLOSE…but oh so far- no, unfortunately this one is not real.  Please exit slowly as not to hurt yourself.

OK, for our next contestant – Cyn E. Cal

Cyn – here is your product – tell me, real, or not real: The BUTTER STICK…


Cyn E Cal: Oh Wowie, give me something hard, this is definitely NOT REAL.  Seriously, who would buy this?

Wowie: Are you sure about that?

Cyn: Totally, there’s no way that is a real Product…give me the money and let’s move on.

Wowie: OH So sorry!  The butter stick IS Real.  In fact, it is popular in New Zealand, and was in fact the subject of a Science fair project at Kamo Intermediate School.  Better luck Next time Cyn E Cal…


*Cyn E Cal leaves with the beefcake man and the briefcase waving his arms and shouting out various obscenities at Wowie*

Wowie: Some people just cannot handle the truth!

Okay, for our final product today, tell me new contestant Max Dought – is this REAL or NOT REAL – this one comes to us all the way from our friends in Japan…


Max Dought – real or not real?

Max: Wowie, I’m just not sure on this one, but it really SEEMS like a good idea…

Wowie: We really need an answer.

Max: I just don’t know!!!

*buzzer sounds*

Wowie:Well, that’s all the time we have for today!  Tune in next week to find out if this product is REAL or NOT REAL!  In the mean time – you can cast your vote below!

Happy shopping everyone!

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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Snuggie For MEN

I know.   I’m going to catch a lot of crap about this.  A lot of you LOVE your Snuggie.

But may I ask…when was the last time your HUSBAND said - “Man, I need me a blanket with sleeves…and make it a camouflage one so I don’t lose any cool points for wearing it when my buddies are over to watch football.”

Cricket.  Cricket….Chirp.  Chirp.

That’s what I thought.  Not a single respondent.


But let’s say on the off chance that those of you out there with men that DO love their Snuggie to watch football in somehow have laryngitis, and I simply couldn’t hear you when you spoke up earlier…Can I ask you – has your Manly Man of Men ever taken his precious snuggie fishing?


Because if he hasn’t, I’m really not sure why.  This seems super practical to me…right?

Sorry about the grainy picture of the man fishing in his Snuggie.  Apparently it isn’t as popular as one might think because there are simply no pictures outside of the one on the box of a man actually doing this.  Well either that or the man is simply too embarrassed to post them. 

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Thursday, September 16, 2010

Benign=Barbie in Chinese…

This summer we had a bit of a breast cancer scare at my house.  Turned out to be benign – which of course is AWESOME (You can read the whole story here) but…


Benign Girl Cell Phone toy.

It’s of course a Chinese Barbie knock off thingy.

Do you think someone should explain the meaning of “Benign” to the marketers?

“Oh, we will sell new toy to girls in America.  It pink.  It got Barbie-like girl on front…we call it ‘benign girl’ so Matel don’t get mad…”

*cheers and loud applause*

“Benign mean – special.  Lots of women happy about being benign..just read these stories on woman website which also pink…”

*more cheers and loud applause”

Yep, that’s exactly how I imagine this one happened.  Prove me wrong, I dare ya.


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

You Gonna Cover That Up?

Here in Arizona about two years ago, a mother was cited for breast feeding in public.

Granted, she was topless, and at a public swimming pool making absolutely no effort to cover up – at all – but you know, her personal choice, yada yada yada.  I personally nursed all 5 of my kids – but never in public like she did.  I’m much to quiet and reserved for that type of public display…shut up, I am too.

Anyway – I’m not going to get into whether I think it was wrong or right for her to be ticketed by police for indecent exposure.  I don’t even want to start the conversation (this is a humorous look at products after all, not a political forum – with the exception of the republican and democrat toilet paper, which we can all agree is funny regardless of which side of the proverbial fence you are on…)  I only bring it up because of this toy:


She seems innocent enough, right?

Um wait – Now I do believe I’ve seen it all in the world of kids toys. 

Two things -

1) Magnetic Pasties


2) Realistic sucking noises.

I’m just not sure where to file this one, educational toys?  Health and medical?  Strange and Creepy?  I’m just at a loss.

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Thursday, September 2, 2010


There are a lot of fads in womens shoes these days.  I mean Lady Gaga alone could inspire an entire blog post with her footwear.

But these are not Lady Gaga’s shoes.

At least I’m pretty sure they are not --- these are actual FOR SALE footwear…now who would buy them…

Giraffe lovers?


Outside of the Box thinkers?


(Herring boxes without topses…c’mon sing with me!)


Carmen Miranda?


Bindi the Jungle girl – all grown up of course…


Do you enjoy barefoot walks across the grass?

image image

And finally, I know barefoot running (sort of…) is all the rage these days…so why not these shoes for a night out on the town?


Something about these shoes makes me very glad I wear sandals – normal five dollar sandals from Wal-Mart.  Very, very glad.

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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Name Your Own Adventure

I’m still sick.

And it sucks.

Since I haven’t posted for a very.long.time…I’m going to take the easy way out.

Ah whatever – so sue me…no wait, don’t do that…

Here is today’s product:


I leave the commentary up to you – best comment gets a prize.

I totally expect comments about Siamese Twins and stalkers…I’m sure I’m opening this up to something I really shouldn’t…but – well, that’s what happens when you are sick.  You tend to lose all sense of write and wrong…(yes I did that on purpose…don’t knock my grammar)

Just keep it family friendly.  I do have an image to protect here…

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