Pooping...you're doing it wrong.

And here, I thought the biggest advance in the flush toilet was the elongated seat.

Words With Friends

The "All New" Hasbro Words With Friends board game...

Or you know, as our grandparents called it...

(or, you know, anyone over the age of 18)

SCRABBLE.

Instant Arm Lift

Sagging jiggly arms?

Embarrassed to wear the season's hottest short sleeved fashions?

No problem! Instant arm lift to the rescue!

Or, you could just wrap your arms in Beiber Duck Tape.  It'd only be slightly more noticeable, and will probably remove unsightly arm hair at the same time! It's a two for one Win-Win.

Bieber Duck Tape

Look at the bright side, you could use it to seal up blow holes. Could be cathartic.

The Look Dogs Crave

Somehow, I doubt that very much.

Noodles?

Maybe I just don't know enough about golf for this to make sense, but 'noodle, long and soft' seems questionable to me. Just sayin'.

It's Fooball Season!

And I'm a fan.

I like both college and the NFL - and I'm very devoted to my teams.  For college ball, I'm a Cougar Fan.  BYU most specifically - and not just because I'm LDS (Mormon) or even because my husband got his degree from there...But have you seen the quarterbacks that have come from there??? Serious eye candy in their prime.  BYU produces some great looking athletes. 

Steve Young. Jim McMahon. Ty Detmer.

Ahem.

Sorry.

Back to work.

Now, my NFL team is the Chicago Bears.  This is something I inherited from my dad...I guess you could say we were born this way.

*insert Gaga Sound track here...*

So - when it comes to football season, I get all giddy and excited and I start searching for the ultimate fan accessory that I might not yet have in my possession. 

You know like these:

Spirit fingerz...because every fan is in the stands with their "JazzHands..."  ...Yeaaaahhhh.... (in a drawn out jazzy sultry tone...)

or this:

Because no night out on the town is complete without your bedazzled rhinestone football purse.  Look, I'm a pretty girlee girly girl, but a bedazzled football purse?  That's just asking for trouble. And please don't make your husband hold this one while you go into the bathroom.  Who knows what would happen...

I'm not even really sure what that is.  Pretty sure it'd get stolen off of my front porch though.

However...

I am actually pretty sure I can't live without this...

'cuz it'd be awesome to make a grilled cheesehead sandwich.